new* [[life]]

2005-12-25T23:00:00.000-08:00

http://weirdtearsrun.blogspot.com

2005-12-13T02:30:00.001-08:00

very very LONG never blog le.
was still thinking if i shld revive my poor little dying blog
but here i am!
going to blog abt the wonderful ju outing on sat!
haha.
firstly,
we had a nice nice pinic
under a big big tree
with the blue blue sky
and the gentle wind breezing through our hair.
not to forget tasty food
and lots of insects at our feets!
):
den we fled to the kopitiam
and finally got rid of the muddy place and "cute"ants!
bowling was fun!
think the bowling alley saved a lot of money
we pay them,
summore wash the drains for them.
haha.
*suwi:wo men ye you chu tou de yi tian!*
mwhahaha
its weird to see a grp of ppl sitting OUTSIDE the mrt station chatting and eating right?
but we did it!
the list of crazy things we done in the day:
-doing presents outside mrt station
-having picnic at a muddy grd
-chatting at kopitiam
-washing drains
-picinc agn outside mrt station
haha
its a nice day though
bengta,i luv you
(:

2005-12-13T02:30:00.000-08:00

2005-11-22T02:48:00.000-08:00

embarrassing man.
now den noe i got serious stage fright
:/

2005-11-16T22:58:00.000-08:00

u made me so disappointed in u.
i told u because i trust u
but u betrayed the trust i gave to u.

2005-11-06T17:36:00.000-08:00

shld i?
shldn't i?
i really wana go for fun lerh
but scared mum dun allow!
KING!!!
how???
:/
***
tml need to wake up early
shall not sleep too late tonite!
haha.
hope it will be a fun experience though.
(:
***
watched jin qu jiang yest!
as usual,went crazy whn jj came out!
haha.
i almost melted whn he zi tan zi chang the songs he wrote for other ppl!
even dang ni sounds nice whn he sing it!
((:
glad tt he won four awards!
haha.
proud of him!
lol.
***
haiz.
realised my blog posts yue lai yue no content!
how?
):

2005-11-01T15:58:00.000-08:00

v long nv update le.
suddenly lost my passion for blogging.
haha.
hols r here.
feeling rather blue
esti e hot babe went back to indo le!
carn find anyone to go shopping wif me le!
):
den next year won be same class as her liao.
so sad
)):
die le la,
i tink my wen bi sucks now
-.-"
dunno wad im riting too
PPR was ok
coz i din expect much at first
haha
or shld i say,
not as bad as i expected
((:
starting frm next year,
no more little gero
):
haiz.
mama miss you.
tinks r going on rather fine for me now.
really dread adapting to a new class,
finding new friends,
whn i have tried so hard b4 getting sum friends aft one long yr.
really carn bear to experience all dis agn
***
good luck,KING!
***
oh ya!
its 1st of nov!
jieying muz be mad at hme now!
haha

2005-10-18T06:31:00.000-07:00

dun feel like blogging.
bleahs

2005-10-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

happy birthday tanny!
although its one day late!
heh.
:)
***
i dun wana go ur hse tml!
:(

2005-10-10T12:10:00.001-07:00

exams r over.
finally.
i can finally watch tv,
cum online,
do wadeva i wan.
but tinks r really v strange,
now tt i can blog wheneva i wan,
i dun seem to feel like.
spent my so-called hols at hme,
watching tv.
dunno y,
but am v hooked on to tv dis few days.
highest record:
6 hrs a day.
omg.
really gonna stop myself before i turn into a
television set
-.-"
***
finally went out yest!
heh.
and bought a shirt!
haha.
*stupid*
***
tink i wasted $16.90 buying e JJ vcd.
at first was feeling v wasted.
den aft yest e newspaper said its a must-buy for JJ fans,
i felt much more comforted.
wadeva.
***
thurs was fun!
Lol.
***
i wana go out!
stupid es**!
u better make sure u go n watch a movie wif me soon!
:P
***
maybe going compass pt ltr
alone!
where esle can i go?
but it can be qt alright act.
***
dread going to skol tml.
wana sleep at hme
:(

2005-10-10T12:10:00.000-07:00

2005-10-04T14:48:00.000-07:00

gosh!
im here agn
:/
din manage to resist my temptation AGN
two more papers left
-sci
-elit!
whee!qt happy act:)
but i tink my sci sucks!
so y am i still here?
i dunno too
:s
***
hope u won misunderstand.
i meant HER,
not u
:)

2005-10-02T15:07:00.000-07:00

im here again.
ok,so firstly,
i broke my promise of not cuming online dis few days.
secondly,
i gave way to my temptation agn.
i really need to learn to overcome them,
they are getting too strong for me.
thirdly,
i really shld be studying maths NOW.
lastly,
i shall hereby declare that i officially,
seriously,
truely,
gurantee-ly,
hate maths.
-pouts-
***
hope i won be online the nx few days.
i hate exams.
):
***
i finally noe e meaning of addicted to blogging
n everyday-must-blog feeling

2005-10-01T16:57:00.000-07:00

die le la.
din study much today.
or rather din study at all today!
carn focus!
i tink im going to die for maths lor
looking at the progress ive been making so far.
nvm
dere is always and ONLY tml
i shld have confidence in myself tt i can make it.
no use forcing myself to study now
since im not in e mood!
haha.
anw,yest nite study was a success!
i studied sci until one!
i noe its not THAT late to many of u,but to me it is lor.
me am early sleeper!
:P
finished bio two times and sum physics.
will really work hard these few days.
but not today pls!
im not in the
STUDYING mood.
:/
***
anw,realised ive been blogging even more during dis exam period
:/
shall make sure me will not cum online for the nx few days!
i can do it one!
yes!
all i need now is confidence,
strength,
calm heart,
intelligence,
mood,
energy,
and most importantly,
answers to all the exam qns!
*stupid*
i noe.
***
guess my posts will always be weird during exam period
***
"me am early sleeper!"
"shall make sure me will not cum online for the nx few days!"
great improvement.
***
ps:happy children day to everyone young at heart!
:D

2005-09-30T16:25:00.000-07:00

noone sign my gbk!
):
sad.
guess everyone is busy mugging now ba.
me still v slack
still cum online n watch tv as usual.
really dun have the motivation to study.
watching yue le bai fen bai ltr
den will go have a nap
tonite will be my mugging nite!
will prove to esti tt i can study at nite one lor.
me not such a early sleeper aftall!
(:
me tired now
guess its coz of tiredness tt's y dun feel like studying
haha.
me finding excuses agn
:/
***
gotten over le.
but still rather influnced by tt person.
look at all the
"me still v slack"
"me not such a early sleeper aftall!"
"me tired now"
"me finding excuse agn"
bad habit.
me need to get rid of them asap.
opps
"me still v slack"
"me not such a early sleeper aftall!"
"me tired now"
"me finding excuse agn"
"me need to get rid of them asap."
***
bet all of u reading cannot even get a grasp of wad i was saying rite?
nvm,u dun need to noe
***
wad a weird and irregular and...
weird? post.
***
whatever.
me feeling v luan now.
no!i mean"I"
a long of tots running through my mind in a mess.
maybe me juz tired,
tt's why.
-correction-
maybe IM juz tired,
tt's why.
***
big trouble!
i dun even understand wad i have been writing in dis post.
first time in my blogger life
that im so
disorganized.
:/

2005-09-29T18:16:00.000-07:00

btw,
five more papers left.
-chinese paper two
-mathematics
-geography
-science
-elit
):

2005-09-29T18:10:00.000-07:00

misunderstandings will always be able to clear
hold on to your beliefs and tinks will turn out for the better
no matter how long will it take
no matter how bad tinks seem to be now
no matter how many times you tot of giving up
it will be fine
eventually
trust me
***
less den seven days.
i can do it one.
haha
***
main concern now:
eng portfolio
:/

2005-09-22T18:33:00.000-07:00

dere's noone online whom i can tok to
feeling miserable

2005-09-19T03:06:00.000-07:00

one more down.
((:
left wif
-eng paper one
-chinese paper one
-chinese paper two
-maths
-science
-geography
-eng lit
):

2005-09-14T18:23:00.000-07:00

not in a mood to study my physics
and its on friday!
how?
die le la.
so many tinks to do.
so little time.
home econs project-
study physics-
study geography-
study maths-
study science-
study elit-
study chinese-
study english-
im confused.
messed up wif my priorty le.
dunno wad to do first.
but one tink for sure,
blogging shld not be the top of my list now.
but yet im doing the tink im least supposed to do
n not doing the tink im most supposed to do,
which is,
study physics
):
***
it hurts for the first few times,
but aft tt,
u won feel for it anymore.
tt's wad ppl call,
immuned

2005-09-12T18:31:00.000-07:00

one down.

history over!yay!

trying to clarify tinks wif him nw,hope it will work.

still cannot get over it,aftall.

2005-09-10T12:13:00.000-07:00

Eeeee
y the previous post i typed so xin xin ku ku in chi turened out so weird?
)):
im turning crazy
by everytink in my current life.

2005-09-10T12:09:00.000-07:00

还没疯
最近发现周围是灰色
每个人都毫无目的的走着走着
最近每个晚上似乎有人在耳边轻声说
“快点去睡吧睡吧！”
头有点痛心在起哄
我不懂我不懂要如何让自己放松
还没疯还没疯
不要用那种眼神
看着我窃窃私语偷偷在我背后冷嘲热讽
还没疯还没疯
只是最近太多不愉快
你们口口声声说我怪
其实你们不懂我的心态
最近走在街上自言自语
脑子里空空的视线都模糊不清
最近总觉得身边每个人
用眼神嘲笑我
仿佛在说我疯了
头有点痛心在起哄
我不懂我不懂要如何让自己放松
还没疯还没疯
不要用那种眼神
看着我窃窃私语偷偷在我背后冷嘲热讽
还没疯还没疯
只是最近太多不愉快
你们口口声声说我怪
其实你们不懂我的心态
×××
我的确快要疯了
被生活中的这一切逼
疯了。
×××
weichoong,
all e best!((:

SOS

2005-09-07T14:00:00.000-07:00

mugging at hme dis whole hols
realised i have a v short attention span
like kids like that
carn concentrate on studying for too long.
its like the first hr is ok
den i will start to move abt
or even daydream frm the second hr onwards
hw am i gg to study like dis?
hai
find it v hard to focus wif all the distraction ard.
how?
my history is still half finished
and i only have 4 more days to my exam!
note:its EXAM!not common test or timed-piece!
and i still have sci common test nx fri!
physics summore!
its gg to kill me!
really envy those ppl hu can study for a long period of time
like lets say 2pm to 7 pm!
if im like them,
maybe i would have finished my history by now le la!
argh
anybody gt any idea how to make sumone able to extend their attention span???
pls tell me k?
i desperately need to know!
):
***
its all over le la
r we even fwens now?
***
i dunno.

2005-09-04T18:06:00.000-07:00

qt a lot of tinks happened dis few days
the biggest of all shld be
project superstar!
lol
the results was so expected.
i knew it ever since junyang was out.
obviously,wei lian is reciving more media attention which is to his advantage ma.
im nt saying hes nt gd
neither am i saying he dun deserve it or wad
i dun support him
but neither do i dislike him.
heh.
but seriously,personally,
i tink kelly can be a better superstar!
(:
although ppl kip saying tt wei lian won coz ppl pity him,
i tink its totally nt true.
i mean if he sings really awful but hes blind,
will ppl still support him?
i tink ppl support him mainly coz they r touched by his efforts n stuff
but,kelly aso put in a lot of effort.
nobody sees it though.
its kind of unfair tt the whole grand finals focus is on wei lian
but honestly,he do attract more attention den kelly in a sense.
heh.
but if junyang is against kelly in the grand finals,
i tink kelly might have stand a higher chance
coz she will gain equal attention wif her opponent.
heh.
***
i tink noone act wins in dis contest
the biggest winner is
mediacorp!
haha
they muz have earned a lot through dis competition
imagine the no of votes they receive
x60 cents!
omg!!!
a lot lerh!
(:
they muz be the only smiling ppl nw.
lol

2005-08-30T14:35:00.000-07:00

depressed by wad u all did
but wil juz kip all these negative feelings aside
n concentrate on my EOY
***
my leg is injured!
ouch!
***
injured leg,wounded soul
***
my shortest post ever
***
i tink?
***
Lolz

2005-08-27T14:19:00.000-07:00

long time nv update le
i tink i broke my record lor
its been one week plus le
haha
so im not tt completely addicted to blogging!
(:
***
i went for YiDA's autograph's session
at j8 last nite!
its cool.
hes rather cute in real live
hehe
got his auotgraph in e end
q-ed for like 2 hrs?!
but im happy
hoho
stupid.
***
dunno wad happened la
we r drifting apart
n e feeling is not dere le
i tink im being totally selfish
telling him,
giving him hope
den destroy everytink
i shld not have been so chong dong in e first place
hai
i really dunno how to clear dis mess now
how to let him noe
yet not hurting him
hes online now too
but we r not toking
i set my profile to away
i dunno how to face him.
im confused.
y muz dis type of tinks happpen?
i guess everytink act ended since e day i go n meet him.
nt tt im disappointed wif him or anytink.
juz tt e feeling stopped since tt day
was act tinking,
if we did not meet,
will everytink be alright now?
or maybe i shld not have told him in e first place.
im usually not sum1 hu acts on impluse.
wad's wrong wif me?
wad happened to me?
i shld have know tt its common for ppl at my age to crush ppl.
i mean CRUSH ppl.
its qt a nice feeling act.
liking sumone.
but y muz i spoil dis feeling by telling him?
i shld have know tt it won last.
its only a passing stage.
din reply his sms for several days le
hope tt dis will stop soon
***
EOY cuming le
will work real hard
and dun tink of anytink else.

2005-08-17T18:58:00.000-07:00

YiDA's autograph session is on 26/8
at 7.30pm
at j8!!!
i WANA go!
but mum sure won allow one la...
aiya!
y not on sat?
den i can go
*sad*
i REALLY WANA GO
):
***
i flunked my maths
and
i screwed up my chi speech
really tok like...
locket
):

2005-08-14T17:23:00.000-07:00

was feeling v blue juz nw
whn i was typing the previous post
heh.
im not trying to escape out of my life la
it is juz my reflection aft listening to a song
hehh
in case u ppl still dunno,
im crazy over shi kang jun nw!
lolz
***
went to bugis yest wif my classmates!
too bad esti couldn't go!
):
in e end
only left the two of us shopping ard bugis
qt xian la!
but realised both our taste qt similar man!
haha
was v tired by the end of the day
heh
***
fri's carnival@marina was rather boring
at least for me la
dunno y but the display juz dun seem to be able to arose my interest
the only nice tink abt the whole event was tt we were dismissed early!
yay!
took the trian hme frm marina bay
wif shao qi!
she alighted three stops b4 me!
but it was qt gd la
at least dun need to endure the whole journey by myself.lol
***
y is it that sumtimes whn tinks r far frm u
u will have a burning desire to have it
but whn its so close to u
juz a few more steps n u will reach it.
but y is it that at dis time,
the desire to have it
seem to have disappear
maybe dis is wad they call
imaturity
(is dere such a word?)

judgement

2005-08-14T01:51:00.000-07:00

why is it that sumtimes,
ppl juz carn accept certain things.
wad is the definition of wrong
and correct?
sumtimes juz feel like escaping out of this world
to a better place
where ppl dun judge so often
by their definitions of wad is wrong
or right
but is there such a place in this pathetic world
where ppl can stop judging others
for once in their lives?
i mean wad's wrong wif being not normal?
wad's wrong wif liking sumone
or rather loving sumone
of ur own gender
im not saying here that im one of them
neither am i saying that i can understand hw exactly they feel
but juz imagine urself
not being accepted in the society
juz because u love sumone
whom u r not supposed to love
how will u feel?
maybe sum ppl will explain tt
dis juz the way god made all of us.
but if we can turn back the time
to the start of the world
to the minute god is juz about the decide our characteristic
n if we manage to persuade him to make gals like gals
n boys like boys,
will those "normal" ppl nw be deemed as "abnormal"?

2005-08-11T17:53:00.000-07:00

happy birthday, yida!
(:
***
dying for maths test le la
):
***dunno wad to say
dunno wad to do
but tinks between us nw
r juz comfortable
(:

2005-08-10T14:04:00.000-07:00

tuesday studied a lot at hme
frm morning till late aftnoon
den went to compass pt
heh
hw?
my maths going to die le la

today went for the lunch appointment
was very awkward
but still managed to survive
dunno hw he feeling nw
muz be so disppointed wif me
im juz such a stupid person
haiz

***
tml is the day of death
maths is going to kill me
***

2005-08-08T18:50:00.000-07:00

today is a half sad, half happy day!
racial harmony makes me so tired!
i hate setting up and looking aft a booth!
its pure tiring
):
n the saree is making me sweat like mad!!!
i almost DIED of heat la.
anw, i tink my class's indian dance was great!
well done all the dancers!
(:
aft the tiring morning,
went to j8 wif jieying, jingying and jieying's sis
heh.
intended to watch charlie and the choc factory at first
but guess wad?
yes! the tickets were sold out!
):
and the best tink was,
it was sold out RITE b4 my turn!
wad the???!!!
n the best best tink was we bought the food b4 we realised tt the tix were sold out!
tt's the most stupid tink on earth
so we ended up eating pop corn at the open plaza of j8!
but its qt nice too la,
we had a rather nice long long chat
(:
heh.
n i went to uy jones shi kang jun's cd!
its marvellous man!
im listening to it nw.
heh
his voice is so attractive!
(:
my jj cd can rest at the drawer le
heh
(:
***
ninety fifth post.
studying tonite
maths test on thurs
dunno wad will happen on wed
(:
**l*
lastly,
happy national day
((:

2005-08-07T17:28:00.000-07:00

qt a nice day ba
decided to blog so tt tt stupid post will nt be on top
my gbk is dying soon!
ppl!
pls help to save my gbk by signing it!
if u happen to pass by my poor little blog
which is totally unsignificant
im lame today
dunno y too
watching charlie and the choc factory tml
wif jy n her sis!
heh.
have a lot of tinks to tell her
these few days tinks r really progressing so fast
until i dunno hw to descibe
need to get in out of mind desperately
but carn find sumone to tok to
muz really make use of the chance
n have a nice chat wif jy tml
(:
hope e movie will be nice
heh
LOL!
*i suddenly like the colour red

2005-08-04T17:16:00.000-07:00

its nt over
but neither has it begun
its still e same
although i feel relieved tt i took e first step
at least i dun need to contain e feeling anm
at least i dun need to hint here n dere
at least i dun need to guess if hes feeling e same way too
kind of glad by the way he responded.
at least i noe hes concerned abt my feelings
n at least i noe
he cares.
(:
i tink its best to be fwens nw
for the time being
while we cont to tink abt it
n while he concentrate on his studies
:/

2005-08-01T20:28:00.000-07:00

really tired dis few days
weekend was damn damn busy
nt to forget tt its fun too
(:
saturday
thanks ppl!(u noe hu u r)
im the KING
im the QUEEN
lol
heh.
n i dun like jason tan kok khian k?
my heart is still wif leon!
*blushes*
sunday
amah!!!
heh.
i tink only u find the joke funny lor
hey you jiu shi ni,
xiang kuo jing wo huai li
yong ni ge wo de chi bang fei
heh
lolz
its was qt a tiring day though
hah
i slept at nine!
totally ignoring my geog timed piece today
luckily it was nt tt bad
heh
will update soon
whn im free
heh
approaching my 100 posts soon
WOW!
(:

zpop

2005-07-24T18:41:00.000-07:00

yest was the qi pan yi jiu de ZPOP!
yay!
it was damn fun!
until i carn describe!
haha
shall start frm the aftnoon
***
met jy for lunch at j8
but she was late for like more than 45 mins!!!
i was damn pissed off la.
but anw,
we still had fun la
n i of course forgave her
aft her countless "sorrys!"
hah.
we had mos
though im nt supposed to eat coz of my cough
*opps
den we went to buy sum food frm NTUC to smuggle in for the concert
haha
aft tt,jy went to buy old chang kee
n off we go to find esti!(:
Thank goodness JENITA was not late!
haha.
but i dun tink she understand wad is platform coz i asked her to wait at platform but she still go out to the gate dere:/
n i guessed correctly!
she was HOT!
i mean HOT, nt WARM!
u guys noe wad i mean la.
heh.
she like tt type of hot babe n made me n jy feel so odd one out
):
haha.
but we realised we were SO early,
so we decided to go n eat at macs.
which im nt supposed to eat too coz of my cough.
anw, jy n i had fillet n esti had a double spicy burger!
WOW! she so hot le so eat spicy stuff
:P
n aft eating,we almost get lost in SUNTEC!
i realised three of us have totally no sense of directions
thank goodness CHU called
n told us the directions
haha
n we FINALLY arrived at the venue at FIVE sharp!
(:
a lot of ppl arrived alr n we could nt get a v gd place
but act e place we gt also nt tt bad la
can see quite clearly although qt at the back
n we saw the jue dui ppl coz they started late.
so sad leon din get in,
if nt i would have been SO high
):
aft the jue dui ppl, we sort of settled down n the actual concert started
i tink chou pi jiang is GOOD!
they sort of get the atmosphere up
(:
but ltr sum ppl like jamie teo tt type made the atmosphere went down agn):
i was rather surprised tt BEN YEO can sing!(:
he quite gd act, for a non pro singer.
n ben c frm china improved a lot frm his album too!
he no longer slanged so much le
n his voice qt nice aso
for singing live la(:
maia was qt gd too!
i tink her chinese is better than sly's lor!
at least she can ans a qn completely in chi,nt like sly!
her voice gt power man!
wondered y she got out so fast for singapore idol:/
btw, the rest of the concert was rather nice too.
but the atmosphere was nt really v gd n i was nt feeling v high too!
until...
JJ lin jun jie appeared!
i tink the whole crowd started to get so high la!
its like he bring up the whole atmosphere
(:
im so proud of him
heh.
n he was so so cute lor
i went so high until ltr aft this performance i was like so tired until my legs were numb
sound so dramatic rite?
but its true lor
heh.
it was really v fun lerh
he was v cute
n his performance aso v well
he sang mu nai yi,
yi qian nian yi hou
n bei feng qui guo de xia tian wif tt golden sand
pls lor!she is so act innocent
n act angelic
i feel like vommitting lor
totally spoilt my JJ's wonderful performance
beside singing three songs,
JJ aso zi tan zi chang!
omg!
i dunno hw to describe lor
noe i tink of it still feeling v excited
(:
n im certainly more crazy abt him aft the performance.
i mean hu won lor
whn he performed so well
(:
heh
his face kip flashing in my mind nw.
i carn stop it
(:
im going crazy.
soon
i carn concentrate on doing anytink
i dun even have the mood to do my wrk
luckily sci assign nt due on mon
*phew
heh.
JJ all the way!
oh ya,
btw, yest he was like saying he hope those hu support him will support golden sand too
n i screamed:NO!!!
pls la.
i have much better taste than to like tt type of sand la
n i really hope JJ won go n fall for her(gt possibility)
if nt its so wasted lor
im tinking too much
anw,
ive gained a new craze frm zpop too!
n hes
JONES SHI KANG JUN!
i tink im buying his cd.
hes nice lor(:
yest was really really wonderful
i screamed so loud for JJ until me myself carn bliff it
esp wif my cough
btw, ah mei was GOOD(:
yest was really a wonderful n fun nite!
thanks the following ppl for making it even more fun!
esti: i noe u r waiting for dis rite? haha. ya la. u hot babe. yest was fun coz of u la!happy?(: lurve u lots n yes, we r more bonded coz of yest!(:looking forward to our outing nx wk wif shaoqi n lu! continue to rawk on n stay... HOT k?heh.
jy:muz be more puntual nx time k? haha. thanks for the wallet(:thanks for screaming wif u yest for jj! n i will infrared the pic to u one la!dun worry(:
jingying:poor gal! eat prata braces aso drop out! anw, thanks for giving up ur 30 bucks place juz to be wif us! n thanks for screaming for JJ too!(: wow! u CAN scream real loud mans!(:
joe:so sad u din manage to join us for the whole event. were u v lonely?):sorry. n im glad tt u like jones too! but, its nt im snatching frm u k? hes mine! i wanted him FIRST!:/heh.n wei choong is my fav jue dui contestant nw! so u dun snatch frm me ks? n WHNS OU "DATE"? u free any day dis wk? monday? or wednesday?

btw, i dun like 183 club
they lied.
their average height is nt 183 lor.
according to the profile given on you weekly.
:/

xubie

2005-07-24T17:37:00.000-07:00

fri was xubie
was act feeling rather sad
n bu she
esp for cyn
the many mths beng ta has been tgt
the many tinks she has taught us
be it acting
or tinks in life
or even frenship prob.
she has really shared wif us a lot of tinks.
her personal opinions n stuff
im really v grateful for all she did
for us
for bengta.
n yes,cyn
i rmbed e time we took 86 tgt.
i was feeling weird too.
coz we really had ntg to tok abt
n aso the time whn we took 72 tgt to collect e bengta shirts.
(:
but anw nvm,
i really luv u a lot
though it sounds v mushy.
haha.
nt to forget,
muz jiayou for ur Os
n we will have a ju outing rite aft ur Os k?
lets organise sumtink similar to last time one.
haha
(:
***
almost cried whn i watched the xu bie video
n im NT even a sec4.
can u imagine hw touched the sec4s r?
haha.
to all huahui sec4s:
if u guys ever cum upon my blog n read dis msg,
i will like to say a big thank you to all of u
for everytink u have done for huahui.
even if i dun noe u.
u guys have my blessings for everytink u do
(:
***
u dun cried.
it'll all turn out fine.
although u will nv be dere agn.

2005-07-24T02:28:00.000-07:00

Firstly,
yay! my internet is finally working agn.
like
FINALLY
(:

2005-07-15T16:19:00.000-07:00

in skol comp lab nw doing huahui stuff.
was reading siowyu's blog
n i feel exactly e same tink.
its like a lot of tinks changed whn we cum to sec skol
i guess tt's y all the adults always say tt e growing yrs r difficult!
it indeed is rather tough.
im always in a doubt
of my self,
of ppl ard me,
i noe i really shld nt be feelign dis way,
but i carn help it.
my mood swings r still as serious as ever.
its like before skol end i was still playing happily wif esti, shaoqi n lu,
but nw here am i feeling depressed all over agn
i really dun like e current me
y am i always seem to be unable to control my own emotions
its like water tt has ran wild,
im unable to catch it,
nor kip it in control.
it JUZ RAn WILD.
anw,
i was really v happy juz a few days ago,
or in fact juz a few hrs ago,
but y am i feeling so sad nw?
:(
argh.

2005-07-10T18:18:00.000-07:00

ITS A WONERFUL WEEKEND((:

fri
WEI LAO rawks!((:
bengta bengta bengta bengta
bengta bengta bengta
bengta bengta bengta bengta bengta(:

sat
ajisen ramen is nice(:
yum yum
its a nice day out wif my family too
happy happy gal((:

today
happy.

gtg.
bye guys!
really glad to have such a enjoyable weekend
although
my hmewrk still nt done yet
):
haha
(:

2005-07-06T17:41:00.000-07:00

my tagboard is down.
but nvm,u guys can sign my gbk k?
i HAVE a gbk!!!
(:
its currently under "others" nw...
haiz, haven study sci yet
n praveena said it will be v hard lor
die le la.
preparing myself to fail
):
but no matter wad, i will still study k!
although im going to watch<< jue dui superstar>> tonite.
haha.
i juz carn resist watching it lor.
i aso dunno y...
(:
shall really go n study NW!
if nt ltr mum dun let me watch tv at nite,
den i WILL die.
:/

2005-07-03T18:33:00.000-07:00

erm
guess im finally bored wif doing quizzes le
haha
fri
went to watch INITIAL D wif jieying,jenny n xiuqi!
the movie was ok la.
juz tt i carn really enjoy it coz a disgusting face kip popping out!
haha
i really wonder y i go n watch whn i dislike jay chou so much!!!
btw, i suddenly tink tt shawn yue is V shuai!
haha. i guess tt's the biggest shou huo frm watching the show!
dun worry, joe, i won snatch him frm u one!!!
:P

yesterdae
yest was fun!!!
we had a ju gathering at cyn's place
it seems tt noone noes tt hougang pt is hougang festival market!
haha
i tot i would be late but in e end,
i was rather early((only gt cyn n yi dere))
den we stayed at macs to wait for the rest b4 setting off to cyn's hse!
i was so hungry n i ate mac nuggets!(:
haha.
naughty yi nv wear ju yi lor!
e rest of us ALL gt wear lerh!
spoil the unity
hmmpfh
):
haha
aft reaching cyn's hse, we ordered pizza
n watched a movie in e meantime!
we watched "the horror of amityville"!
its quite ok la.
nt as scary as i tot.
at least i realised im nt the worst!
yi n chu screamed louder den me!
haha
aft eating,we juz played cards n chat.
although it may sound simple n nt tt fun,
but i tink its nt wad u r doing,
but rather hu u r doing wif tt matters
(:
BENGTA!
wo yong yuan ai ni men!!!
but i gt sore eye rite aft going hme
):

today
din go for milk run coz of my sore eye!
its swollen!
stayed at hme the whole day n attempted to do sum wrk
but my swollen eye juz feel like closing
haiz
shall ganbattle n rush ALL my wrk tml
despite my tuition
):

really carn bear the tot of going back to skol on tues.
four days of hols seem like one day of skol
):
tues gt huahui
which i suddenly dread
aft noeing the new li shi hui
):

2005-07-03T18:15:00.000-07:00

Your Years at Hogwarts by nevermindless
Name:
The Sorting Hat places you in:	Gryffindor (Red and Gold)
Subject you are naturally best at:	Defense Against the Dark Arts
Your favorite book:	The Monster Book of Monsters
Pet you bring to school:	Tawny-bellied Screech Owl
You are most known for:	Being studious.

Quiz created with MemeGen!

2005-07-03T18:12:00.000-07:00

Gray:
You poor, depressed child. A rain cloud seems to
follow you everywhere. The worst has always got
to happen doesn't it? Life is miserable.

What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

i have v serious mood swings
so i guess im juz feeling depressed nw
coz of my silly sore eye
):

2005-07-03T18:07:00.000-07:00

Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)

What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla

i wonder hw true can quizzes get?

2005-07-03T18:03:00.000-07:00

40's to 60's Oh my god you are super mature... you
look at things just like they are, it's good
that you live in the real world, but dreaming
doesn't kill you, you know. Well anyways :D
mature person you are...

. What is you inner age?
brought to you by Quizilla

OMG!
im so OLD!
haha.
so everyone better believe tt IM mature
haha.
despite my looks
(:

2005-07-03T17:53:00.000-07:00

Your Beauty lies
in Contradiction. Controversial, unpredictable, and
never what anyone expects.
You appearance and your personality are two
opposite things. Even your
appearance sends different signals to different
people. To some you may look
innocent and sweet, to others you look mysterious
and intimidating at the same
time. No one ever knows what to expect with you.
You are a little bit of
everything all mixed together. You can be watching
the football game with the
guys one minute and the next out shopping at the
mall. You seem to be almost a
different person every time you meet someone, but
at the same time you know
exactly who you are and there is always that one
thing that makes you you. You
enjoy keeping people guessing and people love how
completely unpredictable you
are.

Some Things
That Represent You:

Element:
Fire, Water Animal: Chameleon Color:
Dark Tones, Light
Tones Song: Everything by Alanis Morriesette
Expression:
Half-smile

Gemstone:
Opal Mythological Creature: Gryphon,
Half-breeds Planet: Mars Hair
Color: Red Eye Color:
Brown

Quote:
"Appearances can be deceiving."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by Quizilla

hehe.
i tink im beginning to like to do quizzes!
i mean,
hu won like to?
whn they r all so true
(:
e only prob nw is i haven finish my hmewrk
:/
n my sore eye is hurting
):

2005-07-03T02:45:00.000-07:00

You kill for
revenge.
That is because you have lost something or
someone you held very dear. Now you can't seem
to get over the loss that marked your soul, and
the only solution is to go after the one person
who brought all this pain to you. Chances are
you are angry inside and you bottle everything
up and don't talk to anyone about it. People
may want to help, but you think that they can
never understand your pain and only get
frustrated because of this. But it is important
to see all that you have left and be thankful
of that even if you have lost something great.
It may not be true that Times heals all wounds,
but with time and talking about your feelings,
maybe the hurt will ease.

Main weapon: Yourself
Quote: "You can close your eyes to
reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J.
Lec
Facial expression: Gritted teeth and
teary eyes

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

err.
its rather true?
plus e person or rather ppl hu hurt me r still in my life nw.
i carn get away frm them.
they r constantly disturbing me
frm getting the type of life tt i wan

2005-07-01T00:21:00.000-07:00

dun feel like blogging
haha
(:

2005-06-29T18:53:00.000-07:00

my hse comp gt prob.
sumtimes can cum oline,
but sumtimes carn.
haiz
***
having very very serious mood swings nwadays!
one moment im happy
the other im sad.
i guess im a bit like my sis in dis sense.
we r both sumone hu lacks the sense of security
im in a doubt
i tend to be oversensitive
whn i see ppl toking in whispers
i will start to tink tt they r toking abt me
although i din do anytink for them to tok abt la
but,
its juz me.
the stupid,
oversensitive me
sumtimes,i really hate myself
for being so duo xin.
but i carn do anytink to help it too.
i really hope tt ppl can understand me
i really need to be continually assured
tt im okay
n u r nt hating me.
i guess its juz the 'overexposure' to friendship probs
tt resulted in me being so over sensitive
):
i will try to change.
i really will
but i hope u can try to understand me
***
omg!
tt idiot may becum li shi??!!!
i wana die!
i mean
huahui will die sooner or later if she IS the lishi
hope tt she won be la
i tink ppl in huahui r nt so stupid n cock eye
to vote for her
(:

2005-06-27T15:37:00.000-07:00

im currently suffering frm post qihang depression.
or rather, post beng ta depression.
haiz.
guess im feeling like chu rite nw,lost and everytink
since qihang has ended
n the wonderful days of pai ju has as ended.
i really will miss those daes
whn we sit in a circle to tok crap
its simple,
but fun.
juz wana let every bengta member noe tt
i really lurve u guys a lot
n i will miss those days of pai ju
the memories will be kept in my heart
4eva.

cyn;
i really lurve e vcd tt u gave me!
but u made me cry:(
hmmpfh
haha.
if u say i make ur last qihang memorable
den i muz say u make my first experience in a ju
totally wonderful
will kip all the memories in my heart 4eva
esp the happy ones.
will nv forget the times
we sit in a circle to crap abt stuff
thanks for making my second qihang in huahui e best of all
:)
guess im bad at expressing myself,
but hope tt u can get the idea?
:)

wen;
i really dunno wad to say,
but all dis while since e day we enter dis ju
to xiaopin,
to qihang,
thanks for listening to my complaints all dis while
whn i carn find anyone to tok to,
whn i almost broke down.
i will nv forget xiaopin shi tai tt day
whn i was real upset
thanks for trying to comfort me
n the little squeeze at the shoulders.
although i din listen to u den,
but i was touched.
touched by ur little actions,
touched tt dere r sumone hu still cares
(:
qihang is over.
pai ju is over
but the beng ta spirit will nv be over
n our friendship too
(:

chu;
its time to get out of ur role!
haah.
dun remain as a san ba hor!
wo hai shi na ju lao hua
thanks for being the kai xin guo in our ju
w/o u, pai ju will nt be the same
n my memories for beng ta will nt be so complete
hope u like the present tt i gave u
its frm my heart.
i really hope to be able to bring back ur many memories of bengta
whn u read the bk in e future
i lurve u, chu
n i really hope tt will be a third time whn we can work tgt
n it will be as pleasant as dis time
(:

joe;
although i dun like ur dog,
but i lurve u!!!
haha
(:
again,i juz wana say,
thanks for the memories tt u have given me
during my days in bengta
i really miss those days of pai ju,
hard,but enjoyable.
qihang is only over in 3 days,
n im missing u guys badly alr.
dere will be no more pai ju
):
i feel so sad juz tinking abt it
we shall go ur hse to make sushi agn!
soon!
provided u lock up ur cog agn la!
:P
XIAOJIE LURVES U!
(:

jiehui n suwi,
i type another day k?
(:

BENGTA 2005'

BENGTA 2005'

BENGTA 2005'

RAWKS

RAWKS

RAWKS

2005-06-22T18:49:00.000-07:00

i still tink of the day
whn e boy gave e gal a kiss
beside the raining train station
the coldness of the road
witnessing him touching her neck
listen to e music u gave
the few years tt i lurve u
those teenage raining days
n dis pouring day
pls go,
hw far can our lurve take us
its u hu let me witness lurve cuming
n aso the thunder of leaving
its fine
shoot me rite down in e heart
remind me of the times long long ago
in e future

act,dis is e lyrics of a chi song,directly translated
by me!
haha.
no la, i juz like the lyrics a lot
but i tried to post in chi,den the words carn cum out
):
anw,its a song by YiDA,
entitled
"witness"

(:

2005-06-20T01:24:00.000-07:00

cynthia;
wendy;
suwi;
chuwen;
joanne;
jiehui;
jiayou everyone
qihang is cuming!
other than nervousness,
can u feel e excitement???
(:

2005-06-16T18:47:00.000-07:00

have the sudden urge to cry
was riting e tink
n i feel so touched suddenly.
i feel like crying
but carn cry out
its irritating
having everytink bottled up in ur heart.
but at least
im touched,
nt sad.
thanks guys.
i lurve u all LOTS.
u r the ppl hu bring in luffer
n joy into my life.
yi`pei`jy`suwi`jiehui`cyn`wen`chu`joe
u guys rawks man
(:

2005-06-14T18:52:00.000-07:00

haven been blogging for qt a few days le
haha
yest was terrible.
i juz dunno why
but my ju has been rather sucky nowadays.
i dun mean tt any of us is bad
i can see all of us putting in lots of effort
even MORE den b4 xiaopin
but i really dun understand why we carn see the results.
im nt trying to push the blame to anyone.
neither am i trying to booast,
but i can really FEEL the efforts being put in
but,
wad's wrong den?
mabbie sumtimes;
trying ur best may nt mean getting the best results aftall
mabbie sumtimes;
putting in effort may nt get u wad u wan
mabbie sumtimes;
we,human juz need to get a rest,
coz aftall;
doing n doing;
trying n trying;
putting n putting efforts;
may nt take u where u wana be
gosh!
shall nt allow myself to tink dis way
coz dere's pai ju tml
n im going to put in my best efforts
regardless if it will be fruitful
(:
--erased--
***
pt,ac
i LURVE u guys lots!
juz realised tt despite of two yrs nt tgt
we have nt drifted tt far away anyway
(:
its juz so u ppl hu:
dun like shopping;
dun like to give hugs;
dun like to have any "body contact";
like to joke ard;
like to scold ppl"sheng jing bing";
like to crap;
like to eat popcorns;
like to watch cartoons;
(:
im really glad
tt our friendship stays
though we r in"different worlds" nw.
(:

2005-06-11T16:53:00.000-07:00

did i really sound so blue n depressed?
mabbie i did
coz i reaLLY am blue n depressed
but i tink things r nt as serious as i sounded.
im still fine
thanks to those hu r concerned
((:
c?
i can even squeeze a smile out of me
which means
i ReALLY am fine.
(:
i guess as joe says,
its juz dis difficult period tt everyone will go through
sooner or later.
n i aso guess tt its dis period tt really make us hu we will be in e future.
im fine
though tinks may seem rather confusing for me nw.
***
yest pai ju was GREAT.
first time in a v long while
tt i actually feel
my lurve for drama agn
i feel tt everytink tt i do
is ALL worth it
(:
im glad
as i tot i will lose dis feeling 4eva
but i found it agn
***
to sum1:
if everyone on earth is e same
if everyone tinks e same
if everyone can understand each other completely
den dis world will be a much much better place
but sadly,tinks r nt like dis
nt e way tt WE wanted tinks to be
in fact its far frm wad we tink
conflicts therefore occur
we carn change the world
we carn change e way tinks r
we carn change ppl ard us
but
we can change ourselves
we can change our attitute towards tinks
we CAN
although we tink its unfair to change ourselves for others
although we tink its no need to accomodate others
but
dere is ntg we can do
except changing.
to accomodate others.
or we will be alone.
left out.
tt's e way the world is.
no matter hw cruel it seems

2005-06-08T09:17:00.000-07:00

dunno y
but im feeling so blue
i always tot hols r qt an enjoyable period of time
whn i can manage well
doing wad i wana do
at the same time doing hmewrk.
but i carn seem to cope for dis hols.
usually,
i will like do wrk,read,listen music,watch tv
all planned out neatly in a day
but nw i carn seem to do enough wrk
looking at my tons of wrk piling up
i feel like im such a failure
but
its nt like ive been watching tv the whole dae
neither is it tt i sleep until noon everydae((i wake up at roughly eight thirty))
but y carn i still find time
to do hols wrk?
im so depressed.
wad can i do?
its like for example todae,
i can only do a bit of wrk nw
coz i have proj meeting in e aftnoon
tml n fri, paiju
which equals to whole dae gone!!!
for goodness sake,
i better pray tt i can finish my hols wrk on time.

2005-06-05T09:33:00.000-07:00

today is mon.
a new wk of the hols
juz realised tt one wk is alr gone
n im left wif only three more wks
n aso tons of hmewrk which i haven even looked at
-.-"

saturday
went out the whole day
but it wasn't pleasant
neither was it fun
dunno wad happened
juz dun feel like going out wif my parents anymore.
im aso ashamed of myself
for having such tots
why am i ashamed of my parents?
n dun wana go out wif them?

yesterdae
had tuition e whole dae as usual
stone away my time dere as usual
maths;
ignore melvin ng as usual
din do melvin ng's work as usual
played wif fone as usual
stared at the board as usual
ate my way through as usual
sci;
frozen as usual
on my screensaver as usual
crapped a little wif gero as usual
ask ms lie to switch off the aircon as usual
drank mushroom soup as usual
aft;
went hme wif gero AS USUAL

so in conclusion,
yest was juz a "as usual"day
ntg much to blog abt actually
-.-"

mon((today!))
slack ((no!i seriously muz try to do sumwork!!))
tues
paiju ((but i carn go))
wed
dushuhui ((still considering if i shld pon))
thurs
paiju ((as usual))
fri
paiju((AGN!))

life is SO boring...
but i really muz do at least half of the work dis wk!!!
mabbie i shld pon dushuhui
so tt i can do wrk...
C?
im still a nice gal
ponning to do wrk
haha.
im bored
n whn im bored,
i turn lame
-.-"

2005-06-03T18:27:00.000-07:00

its all over
for her.
im sad for u
i really am.
i noe u r feeling terrible nw
but yet i carn do anytink to help u
i dun even noe hw to let u noe tt
i care
i really do
its juz tt i dun show
i really dunno how to show.
but i really wana let u noe
i lurve u,sis
no matter wad will happen.
(:
as i have said b4,
i have nt done my part for u
as a sis
i really wish we can be closer.
despite e "generation gap"
i can understand hw u r feeling
dun treat me like a little kid,k?
ive grown up.
anw,
if u ever wan a hug,
cum to me,
i can give u plentys!
smile k, dear?
(:
i lurve u

2005-06-03T18:18:00.000-07:00

the same place
at different times
seem different
the same person
at different times
seem different
im still me
though its nt the same
ive nt changed
its the surrounding tt have changed
n made u tink tt ive changed
im still me
u r still u
but the feeling is different
its no longer me n u
but,
me.
u.
two different individuals
***
im really tired
i wana juz fly away frm everytink
fly away frm all the tinks tt i dun wana face
im nt trying to escape frm the truth
i juz wana
have a gd rest
.

2005-06-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

ive walked a long way
n im tired.
wanting to stop
but nt knowing how to
n whn to
where will dis long long path lead me to?
a better future?
or a happier life?
my legs r tired
i dun feel like walking anymore.
mabbie its time i stop
but i dun tink i can find the courage to continue
once i stop
confused.
feel like juz running back to the past
the starting point of everytink
but looking at the winding path
i tink i carn even make it back
i seem to have cum a long way
but dere seem to be a long way ahead of me too.
im stuck in e middle of no where.
unable to move back
unable to continue
can sumone pls tell me the way
to the life tt i wan
hw can i nt feel tired
n continue to walk?
but will i really reach e destination
if i juz continue walking?
***
tired.

morn

2005-06-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

a totally different feeling dis type
i tink u have changed.
nt juz in apperance
but deep inside u
i can feel e change
i tink u have grown
n
its gd
i like the new u
jiayou ba!
***
went jogging dis morning wif gero
had stitch half way
n i only ran 2 rds
((gero ran 3 rds):))
den went for breakfast at macs!
yum yum!
but gero seem to be rather quiet todae...
nt v fun actually.
but,
anyway,
looking forward to going library dis aft
wif GERO!
agn

2005-05-31T18:33:00.000-07:00

have pai ju in e aftnoon ltr agn.
dunno y,
im rather depressed dis few daes...
really carn bring myself in e happy mood to act tt part ltr
n if im nt feeling happy
hw am i going to act happy?
***
yesterdae
went for the stupid du shu hui...
i mean it really was rather stupid
summore im in the same grp as co2
:x
den aft the stupid du shu hui
i went out wif jy!
yay!!!
had quite sum fun!
(:
haha
***
feeling v sad nw
for no reason

2005-05-30T20:59:00.000-07:00

BOO!
im at hme nw...
slacking like mad
will be leaving hme in less den three hrs to go for my pai ju..
xian.
gt ntg to do nw!
juz checked e friendster's horoscope.
it will be a so-so day for me n her.
better be careful ltr...

2005-05-29T14:51:00.000-07:00

i dun tink it turned out well for her.
the tix r still dere.
new n unused.
i really dunno hw is she coping nw.
neither do i noe hw shld i make her feel better.
coz she dun even noe tt i noe.
anw,
i really hope she will drop by my blog one dae n c dis few posts
n noe tt i lurve her
i really do.
n im concerned
n i wan her to be happy
i really dun wish to c u unhappy, sis.
if u really happen to c dis one dae,
do tag my board or sign my gbk so tt i noe k?
hope tt u can pick urself up soon
smile
(:

***
gt pai ju tml
shall try out e new actions tt i tot of dis two daes.

gosh!haven do sumtink v imp n urgent yet!!!
argh!!!

anw,dis wk is packed le.
mon:pai ju
tues:du shu hui n outing wif jy!!!
wed:pai ju
thurs:jogging n library
fri:dunno yet((haha))

btw,yida's new album is cuming out dis fri
wonder if it is nice.
shld i buy???

2005-05-28T23:40:00.000-07:00

hey!i put up a fizbox!
but its so ugly...
haha(:
im still trying to customize.
i sucks at this type pf tinks anw...
juz hope tt everyone hu cum my blog can go n sign my ugly gbk k?
haha
off i go!!!

blue

2005-05-28T23:06:00.000-07:00

e sky is blue
n im feeling blue...
its raining
n my heart is pouring
until whn
i dunno.

stupid rain.
make me cannot go library
):

hols r here
but im as busy as ever...

nt looking forward to it.

two sided

2005-05-28T12:30:00.000-07:00

im two sided
a fact which i juz realised yest.
one side of me is the cheerful n noisy talkative side of me
e other is the quiet n negative side of me.
i used to manage the two sides of me rather well
but ever since it happened,
i find myself unable to control myself anymore.
e quiet, negative side of me kips surfacing more n more.
i wana find back the cheerful side of me!
but it seem impossible.
the moments of quietness r spent tinking of tinks tt i shld nt even be tinking abt.
i wan myself to be cheerful
e side of me hu goes round
toking n joking,playing wif fwens.
i dun wana be to be the me nw,
quiet n isolated,
unable to connect wif ppl.
its like im feeling happy playing
den suddenly the other side of me will take over
n i will feel so depressed out of a sudden.
i really carn take dis anymore.
i tink im going crazy if dis type of tinks continues.
but hu can help me???
nt even myself.
its only nw den i realise,
im nt having mood swings.
but im changing.
changing into another person
hu is so strange to me.
i really dun wan the negative side of me to kip surfacing.
but i carn help it.
i feel as though my world is so dark suddenly.
i really dunno wad to do.
am i suffering frm depression?
am i gong crazy???

2005-05-27T20:56:00.000-07:00

really dun like to see u so upset dear.
i noe u really treasure n lurve him alot.
aftall,it has been 3 yrs
n im sure he feel e same way too.
i really hope todae will go smoothly for u.
coz i really dun wana c u getting hurt agn.
aft e previous two times.
i really wan u to have a future wif him.
i dunno wad to sae.
neither do i noe wad type of advice can i give u
coz i have nv experience dis type of tinks b4.
i juz wana let u noe tt
i lurve u
n i will be behind u
n i will be willing to listen to u
if u r willing to tok to me
i noe u may nv ever cum to my blog
i noe u may nv ever c dis post
but i really lurve u,sis.
even though i dun show
n say.
jiayou
n have faith
in urself,
in him,
in God.

2005-05-26T02:10:00.000-07:00

Your connection with darkness is through your
depression. Hated, sad and often feeling
lonely, there is only a few that appreciate the
real you. You tend to keep to yourself and away
from the world since you don't want to be hurt
and betrayed again. Music gives you the
understanding you need to get through, it's
your "therapy". Or you express
yourself through art or writing. Chances are
you're also an anti-social person, who only
likes being with close friends, if even that.
The world has finally showed it's true face for
you and you wish life wasn't this miserable to
live through. Maybe you'll find happiness in
the future, but right now you're just hiding
away from the world. Who needs people anyway?

What is your connection with darkness? (pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

omg!
i do alr den realised my results is the same as wei's...

2005-05-26T02:01:00.000-07:00

You need security.
There has been many changes in your life and
you have had to live in an unstable
environment. This has lead you to be suspicious
and always on guard. Your mind has a hard time
to unwind and this could lead to you having
sleeping problems, since you think too much.
People are a category you don't give much trust
at, and find yourself to be a better secret
keeper than they could ever be. Because in your
changing world you have learnt that you only
have yourself in all times.

What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
brought to you by Quizilla

its kinda true???
i dunno wad im doing!
im supposed to be doing hmewrk!
help!

2005-05-26T01:38:00.000-07:00

haven been blogging too much recently
mabbie its time for me to reflect
wad im doing.
is it wad im supposed to do?
den y r ppl nt happy wif wad im doing?

juz read sumtink tt says:
if u dun lurve tt person,
u can nv hate her.
mabbie its true.
im still learning hw nt to change my "lurve" towards u to become hatred.
i will try.
i noe hating sumone is totally bad for me.
i shld nt be doing tt.
but it juz happens tt emotions r really sumtink u carn control.
mabbie wad wei said is true
mabbie i dun really sound as if i had put everytink behind me.
mabbie i really had nt learn hw to put down.
mabbie i am nt ever going to put down.
mabbie i dun even wana put down.
mabbie i dun really hate her.
coz hatred n lurve is only one line apart

i tot i had told myself nv to blog abt it agn
but i carn control myself.
as i said,
emotions r really sumtink tt u carn control.
im trying
n im learning.

i really shld be doing my work nw!
let me c...
i have:
history term 2 tinking qn
eng portfolio.
nt a lot rite?
shld be able to do in 1 hr time.
but e prob is,
i dun feel like doing any work todae
):

bengta:
yay!i bought all ur prezzie le!
or rather, i bought e tinks needed to prepare ur prezzies!!!
mwhahahaha.
im so excited to c ur expressions whn i give u ur prezzies!
hahahaha
((:

2005-05-23T02:33:00.000-07:00

to u:
dun be too troubled by it k?
i believe tt as long as u have faith in e both of u
everytink can be solved.
although i dunno wad happened
neither do i noe hw to help u.
but if u need my support
i will always be here 4 ya.

lurve u
though i had nv say it b4...

2005-05-23T02:22:00.000-07:00

erm.
mabbie my few previous posts too negative?
im still fine.
nt as bad as i sound!
haha.
SB,
dun be oversensitive k?
its nt u in tt post!
(:

im having fun slacking n rotting dis long weekend.
still have my history thinking qns nt done yet!
but hu cares anyway!
tink i really deserves a break aft so many tinks.
spend sat rotting at hme
n finally i gt back my long-lost platic bag!
since like...
XIAOPIN DAE!
:/
its so long le lor.
so, pei's pj is nt lost aftall...
its in tt plastic bag!
haha.
dis entry so boring rite?
i will like to say a big thank u to everyone hu manages to read up to here w/o falling asleep!
im lame.
i noe.

anw,
dis long weekend is chao fun.
miss dis type of daes
whn i juz slack at hme e whole dae!
haha.
but actually going put wif wei todae.
too bad her mum dun allow...
sad
if nt it will be even a nicer wkend!
but nvm,
im happy
n contented.
by dis long long break
(:

2005-05-19T18:34:00.000-07:00

i noe it whn u guys r toking bad.
abt me.
dun tink i dunno,
coz i noe.
***
finally meeting up wif yikee tml to get back my long-lost plastic bag.
haha.

2005-05-19T18:29:00.000-07:00

erm.
havn being updating for 4 daes le.
haha.
aw,
life is still the same la.
study.study.everydae.
n im having real serious mood swings.
one moment im happy.
e other im sad.
haix.
shall try to stay happy.
have huahui ltr.
n pai ju
which means fun, fun n more fun
wif ju-mates!
yay!

2005-05-16T18:26:00.000-07:00

she is getting more n more irritating each dae.
dunno y.
she seems so nice last time whn im close to her.
but nw whn we r no longer close
she is so irritating.
i aso dunno y
juz feel tt she is so fake.
all her sweetness.
n "cuteness"
r all fake.

n she too.
i aso dunno everyone tinks tt she is nice.
she is nt lor.

troubled.
by all dis prob.
have alr tried nt to bother.
but is nt successful at all.
i guess i juz carn contrl my tots.

2005-05-16T02:58:00.000-07:00

会有那么一天
词 : 伊能靜曲 : 庾澄慶

一九四三世界大战阿嬷年轻的时候
爷爷爱他那么多他们感情很深但是爷爷
身负重任就在离乡的那夜给了阿嬷一个吻
轻声说到

我要离去别再哭泣不要伤心
请你相信我要等待我的爱陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天我们牵着手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音听我说声我爱你

夕阳西下鸟儿回家阿嬷躺在病床上
呼吸有一点散漫眼神却很温柔看着爷爷
湿透的眼握着他粗糙的手阿嬷的泪水开始流轻声说道

我要离去别再哭泣不要伤心
请你相信我要等待我的爱陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天我们牵着手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音听我说声我爱你

dunno if any of u guys heard dis song b4?
its sang by JJ in his first album.
v sweet.
n touching.
dere's seldom songs abt e lurve of ur grandparents.
we have often forgotten
tt they do lurve each other deeply.
even if they dun show it.
cried e first time i heard dis song.
haha.
im juz bored.
but its a real nice song k?
damn sweet
hope u all will have a chance to hear it ah.

2005-05-15T02:32:00.000-07:00

im sorry for misunderstanding u
im sorry for being doubtful
im sorry for being oversensitive
im sorry.
v sorry.
(:
teyweiwei,
get well soon k?
im sorryx5!
(:

2005-05-13T21:50:00.000-07:00

hurt.
aft realising hw u feel towards me.

2005-05-13T21:26:00.000-07:00

tink tt i shld nt be so"bei1 guan1"
n try to get back to the old cheerful me.
mabbie to everyone,
im still e same me,
n i had nt changed at all.
but the tireness is really slowly eating me up.
although i do feel much better aft a ten n a half hrs sleep.
haha.
mabbie mental tireness can be cured by sleeping too.

***
rushing my hmewrk like mad nw.
researching for my hme econ porfolio.
had finished elit
n eng in less than a hr.
feel so proud of myself.
if tinks continue dis way,
den i may finish my work in time
afterall.
(:

***
decided to cheer up.
n i will do e tinks tt ive decided
once i decided.

2005-05-13T05:12:00.000-07:00

erm.
life is still e same.
bored.
n numbed
by e so-called assigns n portfolios.
carn c e reason y i need to do so.
weekend hmewk list:

elit assign
maths portfolio
maths extra qns
chinese portfolio
history thinking qns
hme econ portfolio
debate preparation
study geog common test nx wk
study history timed-piece nx week

really dun wan me life to be juz filled of work
n more work.
but sadly,it seems tt my present life is juz e way i dun wan it to be.
i really hate life e way it is nw.
i carn c e point in living if all it means is to study,
study n study.
seniors all said tt sec 2 is a relaxing yr n sec3 will be worse
can u imagine im alr feeling so tired in sec2,
hw am i ever going to cope wif upper sec stuff?
im nt stressed.
juz really dun like my life to be covered wif all my work.
its so tiring.
i dunno hw to describe dis feeling.
its like u noe u r going to skol,completing ur work,
simply coz u need to.
n nt u wan to.
its the mental tireness tt i carn stand it anymore.
n the worst tink is,
its nt tt type of physical tireness which u can sleep it off.

***
i dunno y i carn seem to be able to concentrate during pai ju nwadaes
ever since aft xiaopin.
im like feeling so xian everytime during paiju.
i noe im nt supposed to be feeling dis way.
but yet i carn control myself.
im really sorry to daoyans,
for nt giving my best shots during paiju
n doing so badly.
n im really sorry to all fellow yanyuans,
for making e whole paiju sucky due to my sucky performance.
i really dun mean it.
n i will try harder
during nx paiju
n everyone tt follows.

***
trying my best to make myself happy
n "un-numb" myself

2005-05-11T03:22:00.000-07:00

erm.im rushing my sci like mad nw.
n i still have a dozen of work nt done yet,listing:
history thinking qns
TWO!!!n min 100 words each
due:nx week

maths portfolio
due:nx week

maths extra qns
due:nx week

elit
150 words long on sum stupid shakespeare crap!
due:nx week(mon summore!)

chinese porfolio
due:nx nx week

i tink tt's all.
but its alr a lot a lot lor!!!
imm dying dis wkend!!!
argh.

2005-05-09T18:32:00.000-07:00

im carn believe it.
but im typing three posts at a go!
THREE!
i tink im crazy...
i really am...

btw,i really dunno wad to sae abt it.
its u hu is starting to create e dist between us lor.
its NT me.
stop trying to make e whole world believe tt its me.
n stop lying to urself,
whn u noe its obviously u.
im nt trying to get close wif u agn.
n i tink tinks r juz perfectly fine like dis.
im nt going to do anytink.
n i noe tt we DO NOT need to do anytink.
i only wana sae is tt i still trasure our fwenship
although i noe tinks changes as time goes by
including tinks like fwenship.

i hope dis will be the last time i will be blogging abt dis incident
n i noe won blog abt it agn.
coz dere is no need to do so.

(:
a smile changes everytink
n i shall kip smiling frm nw onwards

2005-05-09T18:24:00.000-07:00

erm...
i dun like u le
ive gotten over my EC le.
n nw ive a new crush!
but for dose hu noes,
i nv crush a gal,
so,ya,its a guy!
he is so cute lor.
but im sure dis is juz a silly crush,
nt a v mutal feeling le.
i tink its juz a stupid process every teenager have to go through.
haha.

i really dunno wad im doing.
typing such silly n private stuff on my blog.
but,anyway,i guess ppl will start asking aft they read my blog
(:
haha.
i guess im juz being bored...
but its true k?

kill me n i will nv ever sae hu he is
(:

gone

2005-05-09T18:19:00.000-07:00

typed a super long entry on sundae,but for sum reasons,its gone!
ah
mabie im nt fated to post tt entry...haha...
anyway,basically its abt my fun dae out on sat!
XIAOPIN finals rox!
im so so glad tt i went.
thanks joe,chu,wei and wendy for making it such a wonderful dae for me.
n the dinner out wif my family was nice too!
e food was so so so delicious!
haha.
yum yum!
n im so glad yesterdae whn i knew e results!
e bolster ju gt third!
its was so damn nice lor.
my fav ju of all!
haha...im crapping again(as usual la)
n RI, wenjun's ju gt first!
i bet siowu is feeling so excited n proud of her darling nw.
haha.
she's gonna kill me whn she c dis!
haha.
i lurve SAT!

2005-05-04T04:49:00.000-07:00

prob nt solved.
im still worried.
pls tok abt it.
dun hide anymore
if u guys really wana solve it.

im so so pissed off.
y muz guys be so pervertic?
hello?u r at a public place, nt ur hse.
n its nt up2u to sae boobs dis kind of words
directly at me
whn i dun even noe u guys.
dis is so stoopid lor.
im so so pissed off.

):

i lurve it.
i lurve it!!!
its so cool!!
haha.
thx,daddy!!!
(:

dis post is so random
i guess im in a random mood too!

2005-04-30T22:10:00.000-07:00

had a wonderful surpise yesterdae.
thanks for the wonderful gift.
i lurve it so much
(:
a happy happy gal nw!
(:

2005-04-29T20:09:00.000-07:00

i tink i really sucks whn it cums to using of words
i always carn express my tots well wif words
n instead create even more misunderstandings.
u,
if u r reading my blog,
i hope u can really understand tt im nt angry wif u.
juz a little pissed off IF u really r the one hu started it.
but if its nt u,
den im a little pissed off by the person hu did it.
c wad i mean?
i sucks in using words,
i carn even understand wad im trying to say.
oops,hope u can understand though.
anw,i tink u were referring to chu's gbk rite?
i guess whn i signed it tt time,
i was rather angry.
but as the daes went by,
i realised its no use getting angry
n getting angry carn help in anytink.
n soon the anger juz faded away.
im okay nw.
n i juz wana sae it 4 one more time,
im juz pissed off by the person hu did it.
but if it really is u,
den im only pissed off at u coz of dis incident.
i still lurves u
as a fwen n everytink.
hope u can understand
e.b STILL <3 s.b!

the only problem nw is tt
i still dunno hu exactly is the one
hu did it
so i guess all i can do is learn to put all dis behind me
n carry on wif life.
n continue to lurve u,u n u
as b4.
im really ok nw
the initiate anger is gone le.
(:

2005-04-28T01:52:00.000-07:00

dunno wad to sae
so nw its all counted my fault la?
whn i seriously din do anytink.
i dunno wad is ur idea of boasting
but im definitely nt boasting
n its unfair to add tinks to e fact n go ard telling ppl abt it.
unfair to me
unfair to everyone involved in dis conflict
its so wu yuan wu gu lor
i admit i did tok abt my ju to u
u n u.
the three of u.
but nw i dunno hu on earth is the one hu started spreading.
i only noe tt i din boast
if my tone tt day was counted boasting,
u guys had done quite a lot of boasting too lor
its nt like u nv tok to me abt ur ju b4.
its juz totally unfair to tell ur ju ppl.
n try to make them dislike me
mabbie tt's nt ur intention,
but hu noes if they had misunderstood.
i won have saed all dis
if i had done it.
but the prob is i din do it
n i hate it whn ppl wronged me.

2005-04-24T02:38:00.000-07:00

im nt upset
juz v disappointed.
i tot tt dere may be a chance
even though we gana cut off the lights.
but hu noes?
e results cum out so disappointing.
way too disappointing.
i noe its nt the time to get sad over it nw.
but,i feel so bad
tt ive disappointed all yanyuans
ive disappointed e daoyans.
ive disappointed shang xue ppl
ive disappointed SNhuahui
ive disappointed everyone hu tot tt we can do it.
im really so so sorry
sorry tt we did nt kip our promise
n gt in.

daoyans
its really nt ur faults
jiayi
thanks for helping me find back my plastic bag.
u r such a cute daoyan
i luv u!
pei
dun blame urself
n dun cry over xiaopin.
we have all tried our best.
n we will do much better for qihang.
thanks for the luffer tt u bring for each pai ju.
i luv u!
jieying
really dun blame urself for the technical prob
we noe u have tried ur best.
n thanks for trying to help me find my taka bag.
i luv u too!

yanyuans
jiehui
"mummy",i luv u!
u had done well yesterdae!
contd to jiayou k?
suwi
-pulls hair!i still luv to pull ur hair no matter wad!
haha.though we din get in,i still luv u lots!
*muacks!
cyn
pweecess!
i luv u!
u did well.
n we shall continue to jiayou as a ju!
my mei nv zhu jiao!
chu
i only have 3 words 4 u:
I LUV U
:)
joe
u shld noe wad i wana sae.
i really wana thank u for cheering me up.
esp on fri nite.
ur huggs r so comfty
:D
I LUV U!!!
wendy
act cool de!
i luv u too.
n i really treasure the pai ju daes wif u!
jiayou fro qihang!

shang xue
u guys were gr8 too!
thx for working hard wif us during the xiaopin period too!
n thx jov for helping us wif the technical stuff.
i luv u guys too!
cheer up!!!
:D

2005-04-20T21:06:00.000-07:00

feeling very stressed n tired dis few daes.
wanted to blog long long ago but juz carn find the time.
xiao pin is in two daes time
have pai ju everydae nw until v late.
dun have the time n strength to blog anymore.
pls god,though im nt a christian.
help me through dis tiring n diffcult period of xiaopin.
bless everytink to be fine
during pai ju
during xiaopin.
thanks for giving me such a wonderful ju of ppl
they rawks man!

haha.im sorry if my previous posts sound rather depressed/
im still ok la
juz tt quite stressed wif all the pai ju going on.
actually pai ju is nt so bad la.
muz nt make everyoen tink tt pai ju sucks.
haha.

yesterdae,
pai ju rawks!
at least we did pai seriously
n achieved sumtink
yet at the same time having fun!!!
but..
i dun wana wear JUMPERS!
its so digusting lor.
but nvm,i will xi sheng for xiaopin!
4 beng ta!
yay!beng ta rawks!

Cyn:
tink u nv cum my blog one la.
but anyway,
HAPPY BDAE!!!
my mei nv zhu jiao!
haha.
16 le.
dun be so childish le la!
haha...
im bored..
juz wishing u HAPPY BDAE!
sorry fro nt giving u prezzie la,
give u a xiaopin-cum-bdae one on sat,k?
haha
HAPPY BDAE!!!!

all <>ppl:
i luv u guys!!!
lots n lots n lots!
till i dunno hw to describe!
haha
muz jiayou fro pai ju dis two daes,k?
its only for two more daes.
denw e can have fun!
though i will miss u guys so so much
-.-:
jiayou,
we can do it!!!!

all<>ppl:
yesterdae was fun...
though u guys din managed to tricked us!
we very clever one mah
haha.
coz i noe ur ju ppl v bonded.
won quarrel one la.
anw,xiaopin is in two daes time.
u guys jiayou!
u can do it!!!!

have pai ju in e afternoon ltr
yay!
so excited to c my ju mates!!!

2005-04-17T03:21:00.000-07:00

sumtimes in life,
tinks r nv expected.
but,
humans can nv stand on his own
we need fwens
no matter hw many times we r betrayed by ppl
no matter hw many so-called fwens we made
no matter hw many times we feel like giving up
we still need fwens
its a fact
though its rather cruel too.
for ppl hu've been hurt
like me
its nv easy to trust again.
but we have to make fwens again.
coz we,humans r juz so afraid of dis tink called loneliness.

-u noe hu-
if u happen to read my blog,
i do hope tt u will tink over the above words
n cherish ur fwens ard u
n nv be afraid to make new ones.
no matter wad,
i will still be ur fwen.
4eva.

2005-04-15T20:47:00.000-07:00

wad can i sae?
wad can i do?
whn everytink in my life nw is in my mess
whn my top priority.xiaopin,is failing me too?
i juz feel so...
dunno hw to sae
im real sorry,everyone.
to the daoyans
to the yanyuans
to everyone in beng ta
i luv u guys lot n lots.

daoyan/pei
noe u r juz trying to control ur feelings
noe tt u r disppointed.
i will jiayou one
really
i will try to make the best all out of dis 1 short wk.
i will.
i will.
have a lot in my mind to sae
but dunno hw to express
juz wana let u noe
u r a gr8 daoyan
n i luv ya!!!
lots n lots
:)

doayan/yi
i guess i had saed all i wana sae in ur gbk le
haha
juz wana sae again,
i will jiayou one!
n u r a gr8 n cute daoyan!
muz jiayou too,k?
:)

daoyan/jieying
juz e same old tink again,
i will jiayou one!!!
haha.
im bored of dis line le,
but i really will try my best for xiaopin!!!
haha.
n,u r a wonderful daoyan too!
juz tt im nt very close to u.
haha.
will make use of dis 1 more wk to try n get closer to u la.
haha
jiayou too,k?
:)

fellow yanyuans
i guess all i need to sae is
let's jiayou 2gether!
haha.
i have signed all ur gbks!
go n c n u will noe wad i wana sae!
haha
we r all a crazy bunch of ppl
n we shall all jiayou together!
:D

<> is all i need nw.
:D

2005-04-15T05:56:00.000-07:00

im lousy.
real lousy
i carn seem to be doing anytink rite
i carn tok loudly
i carn act properly
n i carn even cry loud enough
depressed
.

2005-04-13T05:55:00.000-07:00

life is still e same
wake up,
go skol,
study,
pai ju,
go home,
bathe,
eat dinner,
study,
sleep.
am really very tired.
especially after pai ju.
am trying very hard to kip up in my studies,nt wanting xiaopin 2 affect it.
but tinks r still hard to manage.
will always be so tired aft pai ju
n carn even concentrate on studying whn i reach hme.
juz feel like lying on the sofa,watch tv n rest
maths test is on fri,
n i haven even start to revise
i tink im really going to fail dis paper.
summore its on stuff tt i hate.
but nvm,shall fail one test 4 xiaopin
its worth it!
mum's nagging,
saying tt im spending too much time on e wadeva xiaopin tt she dun tink its imp.
but xiaopin is real imp. to me.
y carn she understand dis?
im nt neglecting my studies
juz tt i really need to focus on xiaopin nw.
she juz carn understand,
but wad can i do?
geog assign. due on fri,
n i haven started yet.

its really nt me?
nvm den,
but promise me,k?
if u r really unhappy wif me in da future,
do let me noe,k?
ILY too!!!

starting on my research 4 geog assign nw
:(

2005-04-05T05:54:00.001-07:00

long time no blog
haha
yesterdae
had pai ju as usual
but sumhw did very badly
until yi gt angry(im so sorry!)
but i juz carn get into my charac
i aso dunno y tinks will turn out dis way
im feeling very stressed
n depressed dis few days
ive been tinking a lot
was wondering
if its nt for my ht n size
will i still be chosen
if its nt tt dere's no other ppl hu can act dis role
will i still be chosen
im feeling very lost
i noe it shld nt be dis way,
but im beginning to doubt my ability
mabbie im nt suited for acting afterall
mabbie i carn even act afterall
im nt afraid to try
but im worried tt i may delay e progress of e ju
im really very afraid tt i may
hai4 e ju

today
had pai ju too
guess it was much better den yesterdae's
shld work harder at it
n improve more each pai ju
:)
muz learn nt to give myself any undue stress
n juz jiayou jiayou n more jiayou.
lastly,
i hope tt god will help n guide me through dis difficult period of uncertainties
let me learn to focus
n aso nt to have mood swings so often
:)

2005-04-05T05:54:00.000-07:00

2005-04-02T04:01:00.000-08:00

bought JJ's album le
listening to it nw
its so nice!!!
juz as nice as his previous album.
so contented.
haha
but i tink his singing gt improvement
but his chuang zuo lacks e suprise element
:(
but its still nice
:)
haha.
dunno y,i bought it 4 $14.95 only
den ltr at another CD rama outlet,its priced @ $17.95!
haha
i saved three dollars!!!
n
it cums wif a poster!
he's so cute in e poster!
haha
n e pics inside e album are nice too!
hehe
I LUV JJ!

yesterdae pai ju was tiring
e senoirs cum back n watch us pai
den gave us a lot of comments
but sadly,its all bad ones.
haha
feeling suddenly very pressurized
dunno whether im up to it
scared tt i will hai4 the whole ju
am rather worried
n i cried on e way home
guess its juz good to let off my emotions
better den bottling it all up
im fine,ppl
dun worry
i guess i juz have to learn hw to juggle between pai ju n my studies
n balance both of them nicely
noe its nt easy
but i will learn
:)

sort of tink u guys r toking abt me
tinking bad tinks

**new*** [[life]]

SOS