my hse comp gt prob.
sumtimes can cum oline,
but sumtimes carn.
haiz
***
having very very serious mood swings nwadays!
one moment im happy
the other im sad.
i guess im a bit like my sis in dis sense.
we r both sumone hu lacks the sense of security
im in a doubt
i tend to be oversensitive
whn i see ppl toking in whispers
i will start to tink tt they r toking abt me
although i din do anytink for them to tok abt la
but,
its juz me.
the stupid,
oversensitive me
sumtimes,i really hate myself
for being so duo xin.
but i carn do anytink to help it too.
i really hope tt ppl can understand me
i really need to be continually assured
tt im okay
n u r nt hating me.
i guess its juz the 'overexposure' to friendship probs
tt resulted in me being so over sensitive
):
i will try to change.
i really will
but i hope u can try to understand me
***
omg!
tt idiot may becum li shi??!!!
i wana die!
i mean
huahui will die sooner or later if she IS the lishi
hope tt she won be la
i tink ppl in huahui r nt so stupid n cock eye
to vote for her
(:

im currently suffering frm post qihang depression.
or rather, post beng ta depression.
haiz.
guess im feeling like chu rite nw,lost and everytink
since qihang has ended
n the wonderful days of pai ju has as ended.
i really will miss those daes
whn we sit in a circle to tok crap
its simple,
but fun.
juz wana let every bengta member noe tt
i really lurve u guys a lot
n i will miss those days of pai ju
the memories will be kept in my heart
4eva.

cyn;
i really lurve e vcd tt u gave me!
but u made me cry:(
hmmpfh
haha.
if u say i make ur last qihang memorable
den i muz say u make my first experience in a ju
totally wonderful
will kip all the memories in my heart 4eva
esp the happy ones.
will nv forget the times
we sit in a circle to crap abt stuff
thanks for making my second qihang in huahui e best of all
:)
guess im bad at expressing myself,
but hope tt u can get the idea?
:)

wen;
i really dunno wad to say,
but all dis while since e day we enter dis ju
to xiaopin,
to qihang,
thanks for listening to my complaints all dis while
whn i carn find anyone to tok to,
whn i almost broke down.
i will nv forget xiaopin shi tai tt day
whn i was real upset
thanks for trying to comfort me
n the little squeeze at the shoulders.
although i din listen to u den,
but i was touched.
touched by ur little actions,
touched tt dere r sumone hu still cares
(:
qihang is over.
pai ju is over
but the beng ta spirit will nv be over
n our friendship too
(:

chu;
its time to get out of ur role!
haah.
dun remain as a san ba hor!
wo hai shi na ju lao hua
thanks for being the kai xin guo in our ju
w/o u, pai ju will nt be the same
n my memories for beng ta will nt be so complete
hope u like the present tt i gave u
its frm my heart.
i really hope to be able to bring back ur many memories of bengta
whn u read the bk in e future
i lurve u, chu
n i really hope tt will be a third time whn we can work tgt
n it will be as pleasant as dis time
(:

joe;
although i dun like ur dog,
but i lurve u!!!
haha
(:
again,i juz wana say,
thanks for the memories tt u have given me
during my days in bengta
i really miss those days of pai ju,
hard,but enjoyable.
qihang is only over in 3 days,
n im missing u guys badly alr.
dere will be no more pai ju
):
i feel so sad juz tinking abt it
we shall go ur hse to make sushi agn!
soon!
provided u lock up ur cog agn la!
:P
XIAOJIE LURVES U!
(:


jiehui n suwi,
i type another day k?
(:

BENGTA 2005'







BENGTA 2005'








BENGTA 2005'








RAWKS






RAWKS









RAWKS

i still tink of the day
whn e boy gave e gal a kiss
beside the raining train station
the coldness of the road
witnessing him touching her neck
listen to e music u gave
the few years tt i lurve u
those teenage raining days
n dis pouring day
pls go,
hw far can our lurve take us
its u hu let me witness lurve cuming
n aso the thunder of leaving
its fine
shoot me rite down in e heart
remind me of the times long long ago
in e future

act,dis is e lyrics of a chi song,directly translated
by me!
haha.
no la, i juz like the lyrics a lot
but i tried to post in chi,den the words carn cum out
):
anw,its a song by YiDA,
entitled
"witness"

(:

cynthia;
wendy;
suwi;
chuwen;
joanne;
jiehui;
jiayou everyone
qihang is cuming!
other than nervousness,
can u feel e excitement???
(:

have the sudden urge to cry
was riting e tink
n i feel so touched suddenly.
i feel like crying
but carn cry out
its irritating
having everytink bottled up in ur heart.
but at least
im touched,
nt sad.
thanks guys.
i lurve u all LOTS.
u r the ppl hu bring in luffer
n joy into my life.
yi`pei`jy`suwi`jiehui`cyn`wen`chu`joe
u guys rawks man
(:

haven been blogging for qt a few days le
haha
yest was terrible.
i juz dunno why
but my ju has been rather sucky nowadays.
i dun mean tt any of us is bad
i can see all of us putting in lots of effort
even MORE den b4 xiaopin
but i really dun understand why we carn see the results.
im nt trying to push the blame to anyone.
neither am i trying to booast,
but i can really FEEL the efforts being put in
but,
wad's wrong den?
mabbie sumtimes;
trying ur best may nt mean getting the best results aftall
mabbie sumtimes;
putting in effort may nt get u wad u wan
mabbie sumtimes;
we,human juz need to get a rest,
coz aftall;
doing n doing;
trying n trying;
putting n putting efforts;
may nt take u where u wana be
gosh!
shall nt allow myself to tink dis way
coz dere's pai ju tml
n im going to put in my best efforts
regardless if it will be fruitful
(:
--erased--
***
pt,ac
i LURVE u guys lots!
juz realised tt despite of two yrs nt tgt
we have nt drifted tt far away anyway
(:
its juz so u ppl hu:
dun like shopping;
dun like to give hugs;
dun like to have any "body contact";
like to joke ard;
like to scold ppl"sheng jing bing";
like to crap;
like to eat popcorns;
like to watch cartoons;
(:
im really glad
tt our friendship stays
though we r in"different worlds" nw.
(:

did i really sound so blue n depressed?
mabbie i did
coz i reaLLY am blue n depressed
but i tink things r nt as serious as i sounded.
im still fine
thanks to those hu r concerned
((:
c?
i can even squeeze a smile out of me
which means
i ReALLY am fine.
(:
i guess as joe says,
its juz dis difficult period tt everyone will go through
sooner or later.
n i aso guess tt its dis period tt really make us hu we will be in e future.
im fine
though tinks may seem rather confusing for me nw.
***
yest pai ju was GREAT.
first time in a v long while
tt i actually feel
my lurve for drama agn
i feel tt everytink tt i do
is ALL worth it
(:
im glad
as i tot i will lose dis feeling 4eva
but i found it agn
***
to sum1:
if everyone on earth is e same
if everyone tinks e same
if everyone can understand each other completely
den dis world will be a much much better place
but sadly,tinks r nt like dis
nt e way tt WE wanted tinks to be
in fact its far frm wad we tink
conflicts therefore occur
we carn change the world
we carn change e way tinks r
we carn change ppl ard us
but
we can change ourselves
we can change our attitute towards tinks
we CAN
although we tink its unfair to change ourselves for others
although we tink its no need to accomodate others
but
dere is ntg we can do
except changing.
to accomodate others.
or we will be alone.
left out.
tt's e way the world is.
no matter hw cruel it seems

dunno y
but im feeling so blue
i always tot hols r qt an enjoyable period of time
whn i can manage well
doing wad i wana do
at the same time doing hmewrk.
but i carn seem to cope for dis hols.
usually,
i will like do wrk,read,listen music,watch tv
all planned out neatly in a day
but nw i carn seem to do enough wrk
looking at my tons of wrk piling up
i feel like im such a failure
but
its nt like ive been watching tv the whole dae
neither is it tt i sleep until noon everydae((i wake up at roughly eight thirty))
but y carn i still find time
to do hols wrk?
im so depressed.
wad can i do?
its like for example todae,
i can only do a bit of wrk nw
coz i have proj meeting in e aftnoon
tml n fri, paiju
which equals to whole dae gone!!!
for goodness sake,
i better pray tt i can finish my hols wrk on time.

today is mon.
a new wk of the hols
juz realised tt one wk is alr gone
n im left wif only three more wks
n aso tons of hmewrk which i haven even looked at
-.-"

saturday
went out the whole day
but it wasn't pleasant
neither was it fun
dunno wad happened
juz dun feel like going out wif my parents anymore.
im aso ashamed of myself
for having such tots
why am i ashamed of my parents?
n dun wana go out wif them?


yesterdae
had tuition e whole dae as usual
stone away my time dere as usual
maths;
ignore melvin ng as usual
din do melvin ng's work as usual
played wif fone as usual
stared at the board as usual
ate my way through as usual
sci;
frozen as usual
on my screensaver as usual
crapped a little wif gero as usual
ask ms lie to switch off the aircon as usual
drank mushroom soup as usual
aft;
went hme wif gero AS USUAL

so in conclusion,
yest was juz a "as usual"day
ntg much to blog abt actually
-.-"

mon((today!))
slack ((no!i seriously muz try to do sumwork!!))
tues
paiju ((but i carn go))
wed
dushuhui ((still considering if i shld pon))
thurs
paiju ((as usual))
fri
paiju((AGN!))

life is SO boring...
but i really muz do at least half of the work dis wk!!!
mabbie i shld pon dushuhui
so tt i can do wrk...
C?
im still a nice gal
ponning to do wrk
haha.
im bored
n whn im bored,
i turn lame
-.-"

its all over
for her.
im sad for u
i really am.
i noe u r feeling terrible nw
but yet i carn do anytink to help u
i dun even noe hw to let u noe tt
i care
i really do
its juz tt i dun show
i really dunno how to show.
but i really wana let u noe
i lurve u,sis
no matter wad will happen.
(:
as i have said b4,
i have nt done my part for u
as a sis
i really wish we can be closer.
despite e "generation gap"
i can understand hw u r feeling
dun treat me like a little kid,k?
ive grown up.
anw,
if u ever wan a hug,
cum to me,
i can give u plentys!
smile k, dear?
(:
i lurve u

the same place
at different times
seem different
the same person
at different times
seem different
im still me
though its nt the same
ive nt changed
its the surrounding tt have changed
n made u tink tt ive changed
im still me
u r still u
but the feeling is different
its no longer me n u
but,
me.
u.
two different individuals
***
im really tired
i wana juz fly away frm everytink
fly away frm all the tinks tt i dun wana face
im nt trying to escape frm the truth
i juz wana
have a gd rest
.

ive walked a long way
n im tired.
wanting to stop
but nt knowing how to
n whn to
where will dis long long path lead me to?
a better future?
or a happier life?
my legs r tired
i dun feel like walking anymore.
mabbie its time i stop
but i dun tink i can find the courage to continue
once i stop
confused.
feel like juz running back to the past
the starting point of everytink
but looking at the winding path
i tink i carn even make it back
i seem to have cum a long way
but dere seem to be a long way ahead of me too.
im stuck in e middle of no where.
unable to move back
unable to continue
can sumone pls tell me the way
to the life tt i wan
hw can i nt feel tired
n continue to walk?
but will i really reach e destination
if i juz continue walking?
***
tired.

morn

a totally different feeling dis type
i tink u have changed.
nt juz in apperance
but deep inside u
i can feel e change
i tink u have grown
n
its gd
i like the new u
jiayou ba!
***
went jogging dis morning wif gero
had stitch half way
n i only ran 2 rds
((gero ran 3 rds):))
den went for breakfast at macs!
yum yum!
but gero seem to be rather quiet todae...
nt v fun actually.
but,
anyway,
looking forward to going library dis aft
wif GERO!
agn